Most cry-it-out methods are much the same. The sleep training book I read is called "Sleep Sense", by Dana Obleman. She basically beats around the bush, trying not to say "Babies need to cry-it-out". She instead says things like they need time to "process"...or, "you are giving your baby the gift of learning how to sleep on his own" or "teaching your child healthy sleep habits". She downplays the crying by using examples of other things a baby might cry about, like if he were playing with your car keys, and you took them from him, or not letting him have something he wants at the grocery store. She says, all babies are different--some may cry for a few minutes, some could cry for an hour, before finally falling asleep, and says that babies might cry "an average of 45 minutes, the first night." Ugh! I hardly think I would let my child cry (or scream, in his case) for 45 minutes (especially considering that he was 4 months old at the time)!!
However, I did implement her methods, and they did work. Most parents who try "sleep training" will find that it does work. Your baby will fall asleep. Eventually. Guarantee it. He will get tired. Brendan cried for 20 minutes the first night. It was awful, but I was exhausted and fed up with bedtimes dragging on forever. I went in 4 times and patted his back while he cried, and he did finally settle, and slept all night, much to our delight! The next day at naptime, he cried for 5 minutes before falling asleep, and napped for 2 or 3 hours (I forget). At bedtime that 2nd night, he fussed for a minute or two, and that was it! Up until a couple nights ago, he always went to bed with no trouble whatsoever. Never fussed, unless something was really wrong--like a foot stuck out through crib bars, or a latenight poop. :P
The night before last, he woke up at midnight. Sort of. I heard him cry over the monitor, and I left the hall light on and opened the door so I could see him--problem was, he saw me, too! So, he didn't go back to sleep, like he probably would've if I'd been in bed, and just waited a minute. Last night, he woke up at midnight again. I knew he would. One night of waking is all it takes for him to get in the habit. I bet he'll do it again tonight--in fact, I just heard a little noise. I hope he does, and I hope he eats. Why?
As of about a week (or 2?) ago...I lose track of days...Brendan has been having trouble nursing. Not every time. Not even every day. I've been dismissing it as being due to teething, maybe inflamed gums, etc. But when he woke last night--twice--for the 2nd night in a row, and then woke up this morning at 6:30, instead of the usual 7 or 8, I thought, maybe it's an ear infection. So we went to the doctor. Nope, no ear infection.
Later in the day, it occurred to me, this could be GER(D), (gastroesophageal reflux [disease]). At his appt. with Jackie on Wednesday, he had lost an ounce since a week or two before that. Well, no big deal, an ounce. He'll pick back up and start gaining again, right? Well today when he was weighed, he'd lost another 7 oz. So now I'm getting worried. And now, I'm regretting having "taught" him to sleep through the night. If I hadn't "sleep trained" him, if he were hungry, and not eating well in the daytime, he would probably be making up for it at night. Often babies who are too busy & distracted to nurse well in the daytime will make up for it at night. Now I'm wondering, "gee, maybe I should've co-slept...maybe I shouldn't have sleep-trained him, maybe I over-rode his signals of waking up in the night to be fed like he should've been!" And, too, babies who co-sleep (a.k.a. sleep in the same bed with their parents), wake up a lot more to nurse, because they feel and smell Mummy next to them. At the time I started the sleep-training, he was doing fine, and didn't really need to nurse at night, so I thought.
So, I'm losing my mind. Second-guessing everything I've done. Tonight at bedtime, it took almost 2 hours. I nursed him to sleep, and he woke up not even half an hour later. I tried nursing him again, and he only did for a few minutes. And here I am, up late again...but the baby's probably going to wake up in ten minutes again anyway.
In conclusion, think carefully about whether you will sleep train or not, or co-sleep or not. Read up on it. Try things out, before you decide. A baby who is eating well and gaining well, and at least 4 months old, is probably ok to sleep-train. In my case, Brendan probably needed to be fed in the night. He's exclusively breastfed, and has never been a good gainer. Don't be too quick to jump on the sleep-training...train ;)... just because it's what people commonly do. Do what works for you, what feels right, and of course, what's best for your baby.
** I posted this as a note on Facebook almost a month ago now. We discovered that Brendan's problem was TYLENOL. Infant Tylenol I'd been giving him on a fairly regular basis for teething. It was giving him stomach cramps, so he wouldn't eat. :( Thank goodness, he's eating and gaining well now. He's eating 3 meals (solids) a day now, and still nursing lots. :)**
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