For First-Time Moms Who Plan To Breastfeed

Written March 24th, 2011

I don't want to discourage anyone who is planning to breastfeed--in fact, I mean to encourage. First of all, let me say that breastfeeding is NOT always easy, and does not always "come naturally". It is "the most natural thing in the world", in that it is the best, most natural way to feed your baby, and once you've both gotten the hang of it, it's like second nature. Some women have no trouble with it at all. My mother says she didn't, and she breastfed all 3 of us. But I certainly did at first, and I'm not the only one. A lot of women I've talked to have said they thought it would be a lot easier than it was at first.

In the beginning, especially in the hospital, I had a very hard time with it. Mostly because there wasn't enough breastfeeding support available to me. I had Brendan on a Friday, and the lactation consultants aren't in on weekends. Isn't that handy. Every nurse who tried to help me had a different way of explaining things. One nurse in particular was horrid...there's always one of those, whose job is just a job, not their passion. She was in a hurry, and not too concerned with being patient and helpful. If I wasn't getting the hang of it, she acted as if I wasn't listening to her, and wasn't doing what she said. And in those first few weeks, your hormones are pretty wild, which made it much harder to cope with all the challenges and stress.

The first night I was there, I let the nurse cup-feed him 5mL of formula, because I was sooo exhausted, and I didn't know how to get him to latch on, and I just didn't want to do anything besides crash. I soon wished I hadn't, because it affected his digestion for a little while, probably contributed to how colicky he was. According to an article I read the other day, studies have shown that formula throws off the normal pH of a newborn's stomach, and affects the levels of digestive bacteria in their stomachs. It's much harder for their brand new bellies to digest. Even supplementing formula once in the first few days of life can compromise their digestion for up to 6 weeks!

All that aside, breastfeeding is not necessarily an instinct. If it's your first baby, you've obviously never done it before. And neither has he! It takes practice, for both of you. I watched a couple videos when I was still pregnant, of a brand new, just-born baby, rooting around on his mother's chest blindly, bobbing his head around til he found the nipple, and latching right on automatically. Let me tell you, Brendan did no such thing! He was jaundiced, which made him sleepier than normal--and newborns are sleepy as it is--so he didn't want to eat, which made him more jaundiced, which made him more sleepy!

My nurses did encourage me to pump, to help my milk supply come in. I would breastfeed him as best I could for 15-20 minutes, if I could make him stay awake that long, then we would try to cup-feed him 5-10mL of expressed milk, to "top him up". I don't know how helpful that really was. Although it got his system moving, and his belly full, it also wasn't helping us to practice breastfeeding like we needed to.

I'll tell you what ELSE I didn't find helpful: all that damn scheduling and CHARTING!! Omg. 4 days of that just about drove me nuts. When he ate, how long he ate, what side he fed on, when he pooped, when he peed. And..."We have to check your vitals..." or "We have to check your stitches..." or "We have to check the baby's this that and the other thing..." or "We have to test his bilirubin levels" or "He needs this immunization" or "You need this immunization"...Ok, um, when do we ever get to SLEEP, uninterrupted?! Man that gets irritating. I was SOOOOO glad to be home, with no one bugging me every couple hours. Just to RELAX, and not be accountable to the nurses, and figure things out for ourselves.

One night, my nurse was supposed to come back and cup feed him (breastmilk). She didn't come back, for an hour and a half. So I did it myself. She gave me hell, and I got all upset, then spent the whole night bawling my head off, I was so frustrated and hormonal and exhausted. The next morning, the lactation consultants came to help, and that made ALL THE DIFFERENCE. I wish I'd had them the first night, we would never have been there any more than the standard 48 hours. Don't hesitate to call a consultant. And if you're not isolated like me, you likely can call one to come visit you at home, if need be, too. I certainly would've, if there were one here!

Even after we were home, I still got frustrated quite a few times. Being tired, trying to keep him latched on, or get him to latch properly. And he was still very sleepy for a while, as most newborns are. Brendan was also very colicky for the first 3 weeks. It was awful. He would scream and scream and scream, and we couldn't do a thing to calm him. It was SO frustrating, especially being so tired, and still not great at breastfeeding. It may very well have been the iron supplement I was taking. Once I stopped taking it, he seemed much better almost immediately. Some babies can't tolerate iron-fortified formula, so it only makes sense.

I would say once the first month was past, we were "well-established". Now, I wouldn't have it any other way! It's a wonderful bond, to know that your body provides the MOST perfect food for your baby. And, your milk is designed specifically for your baby. There's so much that breastmilk does for your baby, that formula can't do. And, did you know that the composition of your breastmilk changes, from day to day, with your baby's changing nutritional needs? And your milk even changes throughout the day.

So! If you plan to breastfeed, don't give up if you have a hard time! And don't let anyone tell you, "You may not have enough milk, you need to supplement with formula." Not that it never happens, of course. Some women do have physiological problems producing milk, which would be devastating. But much of the time, if you aren't producing enough milk, there are things you can do. Not getting enough sleep affects milk production (cruel irony, eh?). Also not eating and drinking enough affects milk production. You need 500 extra calories a day while breastfeeding. And, if you feel like your milk isn't coming in, you can rent or buy a pump, and that should help to increase your milk supply.

And I'm not saying formula is the devil. If you choose formula, it's up to you. Your baby will grow, and be fine. After all, a few generations ago, people fed their babies canned milk & water...with corn syrup in it, if they had a colicky baby! Yikes. And they seemed to survive just fine. But, I believe that human babies should be fed human milk, if at all possible! So, even though it may be difficult, don't give up! It WILL get easier. It will get downright easy. Now, I could literally do it with my eyes closed. And I do, first thing every morning, in our bed. :) It's wonderful.

It's wonderful not to have to wait while a bottle warms up in a jar of warm water for 15 minutes. Not to have to sterilize/wash bottles, mix formula, BUY formula. It's wonderful to just be able to feed him, immediately, with no preparation, whenever, wherever we are. It's wonderful to know that my baby is well-fed, chubby, and happy, because of the milk my body makes just for him. It's wonderful to see him looking up at me contentedly, and it's the sweetest thing watching his little jaw quiver, or his head bob up and down, listening to all the little noises he makes when I'm feeding him...Speaking of which...it sounds like I may need to do that now!