March 12/03

I cannot even describe, what a frustrating day. If I have to hear any more of this shit, I'm gonna lose it. For God's sakes.

When is enough enough? Cuz yeah, he didn't just BACK YOU UP AGAINST A WALL, AND SCREAM IN YOUR FACE. Just because you wanted to leave the baby with him and go for a drive alone in your new car.

And, he doesn't insult you and control you and waste all your money. All the time. And, and, he doesn't EXPECT sex of some kind EVERY SINGLE DAY. But THAT'S normal and fine. Suck it up, smoke a fuckin nother one. And just shrug it off at the end of the day, after I listen to you vent and bitch all day long.

You CHOSE to be with him, when he was sleeping with someone else when you were first together. Then, you CHOSE to stay with him, even when he wouldn't even call you his "girlfriend". THEN, you BOTH CHOSE to have a child together. Nobody MADE you. You WANTED to. And now, you are STILL CHOOSING to stay with him. Because oh, "Hunter's a daddy's boy," (at 8 months old), and, you can't afford to live on your own. Which is bullshit. If you really wanted to, you would make a way. Such as moving back to your PARENTS' house. Which they would LOVE, and it would be good for ALL OF YOU.

If you didn't smoke SO FUCKING MUCH DOPE, you wouldn't ever have been in this FUCKING situation in the first place. Because you were ALMOST sensible when you didn't smoke it. Almost. You were STARTING to see things clearly. For a little while.

I just get tired of hearing the same fuckin bullshit, every day, or every other day. Pretty much every day now. If you don't wanna live that way, then DON'T. And if you choose to stay, then SHUT THE FUCK UP. YOU'RE the one ALLOWING him to treat you that way.

And what's next?? Today, he pushes you up against a wall. Next time, though, he'll push you around. Next time he'll hit your arm maybe. Then it'll be a backhand, and you'll be on your ass. And what THEN??! And how far in the future is it going to be? How old will Hunter be THEN?!

God. WHEN IS IT EVER GOING TO BE ENOUGH FINALLY?!?!?!?! In my books, he's already WAAAAAAAAAAAAY surpassed the limits of what is acceptable. He did that before you were even officially "together". Which is why he walks all over you. Because you have ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS let him. You can fight and argue and bitch and scream til you're blue in the fucking face. It doesn't prove one damn thing if you calm down later and stay anyway.

And if things don't change soon, this is what I will tell you. Because I'm fucking sick of hearing it. You chose this, and you are continuing to choose it. So shut up, and quit texting ME everytime he pisses you off. Cuz I've had enough of it. I'm done caring.