Jan. 9/07, 12:48 p.m.

Well, I had a pretty good night yesterday, except for breaking my toe. I wasn't sure if it was broken at first, but I saw a weird looking indent on it, and it's pretty swollen & painful. And I kicked the desk really really hard, so it probably is. I can barely walk on it today. So I'm guessing it's more than a sprain. Can you sprain your toe? I dunno.

Anyways. The last I had written about was devouring the evil burger. And feeling very bad about myself, and very defeated. And the stupid burger wasn't even as good as Geoff normally makes them, either. So I was quite disappointed that not only did I indulge, it wasn't even as satisfying as I had thought it would be.

I was feeling really like I didn't know if I could actually do this or not, and like I would always be saying, "Oh well, there's always tomorrow," (and the next day, and the next day, forever & ever). Ugh I have the hiccups.

So I went home, laid on my bed looking up at the pictures I put up of myself for "thinspiration", feeling very hopeless, when all of a sudden it occurred to me, "I don't have to let this happen, I don't have to do nothing about it, I am not powerless to change...I'm going for a walk!" By this time it was ten to twelve at night. But dammit, I was going for a walk anyway, broken toe or no broken toe, almost midnight or not.

So off I went, Ruby yanking me along--which was good, because it made me keep up a good brisk pace. I would normally go down to Henderson's, but this was midnight and there was no moon, and there's no streetlights most of the way down the road, so, no. So we went to the breakwater instead. Normally, I don't walk her up that way, because there are dogs up there. But of course, being that it was midnight, they were all in their little beds, you see. Hah, brilliant. We walked to the breakwater, to the very first wharf, all the way to the end, and back. By the time we got home, it was 12:30, so we had walked for 40 minutes--save a few breaks to rest my poor toe (and for Ruby to smell this and that, and then pee on it)! Yay!

Success, one step at a time...on my broken toe.
Take that, hamburger.