Jan. 8/07, 10:27 p.m.

Yup, did it again. I said I was starving in my last post, so I ate an apple. Soon after, I was still gnawingly hungry. Geoff had made burgers, and his burgers are always really really good, and there were two left, and I scarfed one. On white bread. With Pepsi. I'm a criminal. See, see what sleeping in and not eating breakfast gets me? Yah. I'm so so impressed with myself. TOMORROW WILL BE BETTER!!!!! Aargh. I feel like I can't do it, like I'm never going to really succeed at this. Because, I never have. I've never done it. School's different, I succeeded all through school, until grade 9 when I started getting slack. I knew I COULD do it, if I put my mind to it. But I've never been in shape & fit, not since I was 12, in Virginia, when all I ate was white bread, cereal with whole milk, watermelon, plums, malt-chocolate balls, and doritos....but I jumped on the trampoline every day, sometimes for 2 or 3 hours, in the middle of the day in the blazing heat. So I got pretty fit. By eating very little of anything, and mostly junk at that--and exercising several hours a day in 100 degree heat. Argh. I just don't know if I really can do this. Because I was really hungry, and I really didn't have any energy, and then, I just gave in and ate (and drank) crap! It's frustrating. Well, it's like I said earlier, I skipped out on a third of my nutrition for the day. How can I expect to feel good & have energy & succeed if I don't eat enough (of the right stuff)? I'll try again tomorrow. Sigh. I need to go home & go to bed.