Wow, I haven't blogged in a long time! No surprise there. I go through phases. It occurred to me the other day that I have a very..."multi-faceted", shall we say, personality. I was driving up the island to play for the choir concert, cranking jazz tunes on a French radio station, to try to transition from worn-out-Mommy-mode to ready-to-play-classical-music (even though I only practiced once)-mode. Some days I'm the laid-back country girl who strolls barefoot in the grass in my yoga capris & tank top. Other days, I'm confident enough to be dressed formally, jewelry on, purse in hand, armed with lipgloss (lipgloss is about as made-up as I get, usually, unless I'm going to be on stage). I also have a more religious side, striving to learn more, share more, know God, live more like the Christian I deep down want to be. I can also be a moody b*tch (just ask my darling, patient, tolerant husband, or my mother)! I can fling a mighty head fit. Not because I'm spoiled, necessarily. I really think it's part of an "artistic" temperament. I've always been that way. Of course, there's my hippie-zen side, which is usually fairly prominent on a daily basis: breastfeeding, cloth diapering, composting, gardening, healthy-living, wanting to go back to nature, live in a cob house, and do yoga every day. Then there's the side of me that doesn't give a sh*t, that's really the "old" me. The me who just really wants to say f*k it and go get drunk, go buggying, go out all night, and forget my responsibilities...but don't worry, I never do. ;) Because, the most important part of who I am is a mother. I am that sweet little 16-month-old boy's mother, no matter what personality I feel like on any given day. There are days I'm a better, more patient mother than others. I'm certainly not the best at always reacting consistently. I need to work on that, no matter how I feel. But over all, my little boy is #1, and I try my very best, no matter how I feel, to do what's best for him. Do I always feel like vacuuming, or cooking, or doing dishes, or folding the billionth load of laundry? No. Do I always feel like rocking him at bedtime, when he's squirming all around & wants to play? No. Do I always feel like going to church, or playgroup, or outside, or for a walk? Nope! But I do...and of course, I never regret it. I just hope, like all parents, I'm sure, that I can raise a confident, capable, well-adjusted, kind, caring, hard-working son. I don't expect my kids to change the world, but I hope that just by being in it, they improve at least their little corner of it.